Monday, May 04, 2009

"When I was a little girl..."

"When I was a little girl," I whisper to Teagan, as I stroke her hair and help her drift back to sleep. "When I was a little girl, I had a small bed with an old saggy mattress. A couple of the boards of the bed frame were broken and missing from under the mattress, so it sunk down in the center and made a little hole."

I remember this so well. I keep stroking Teagan's hair, and push it gently away from her eyes. "I would curl up in that hole as tightly as a roly poly bug, Teagan--only softer." I imagine, maybe, as tightly as a house mouse... "And, I loved that hole. I was cozy under my Snoopy sheets."

Teagan is barely hearing me now. Her breathing has deepened and I think she's totally out. She is wrapped up tightly under my retro Snoopy sheets now--the same ones I slept under 35 years ago when I was her age. It strikes me with a great deal of irony.

"I was cozy under my Snoopy sheets and I loved that saggy mattress. I was safe there. Even though there wasn't any wallpaper on the walls around me, and even though I could see pink insulation in the door jam frame of my closet, I was curled up with my Raggedy Ann doll..." and then it hit me--"Just like you are right now."

I kiss her, and thank God that, already, she's had a much better start than I.

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