Friday, September 25, 2009

Deep Breathing

Baby Stephen will be here in 56 days or less, according to my counter up top. I am 32 weeks pregnant today. Wow. This is overwhelming me, because my nesting instinct is very strong, and I know that this "nest" ain't ready! We have freecycled dozens of items to simplify our lives, and yet it feels like we've made almost no dent in the massively overwhelming possessions that overtake these 1,000 square feet of our home. I have to think bigger--I have to dump boxes of things, not one little item at a time. Sure, I feel freed by the packages I leave on the door with strangers' names on them, knowing our "things" aren't going into the dumpster or a landfill, but being repurposed by someone else! But, we just haven't moved enough OUT!

I want to feel comfort & peace when I enter the door--I want to feel less oppression of things! A dear friend of mine just downsized by more than half--they moved from a single-family house with a large lawn, playset, sunroom & sandbox, into a townhouse community where the lawn is done, a pool is available, and they share walls with neighbors. This move has proven to be a wise one for their family, and she seems so content in it! We are already there--living in small space for three years, knowing our neighbors intimately, and asking God constantly to help us remain content where he's planted us. I do feel contentment about living debt-free, that's for sure! But, despite our pared down existence, there is still too much stuff! We are bibliophiles, and half of our house resembles a library--so can I pass these books on? Well, it seems that at least once a week we reach over the futon to pull one of those tomes off the shelf to share with someone else--so, I love having access to books that have meaning to us, and have shaped our thinking, values & philosophies! That's a hard one.

Anyway, all this to say, I don't feel ready, yet, to be the mother of THREE children. I know there is more I can do to simplify all aspects of my life--spiritually I am delighted Tom & I have found a new weekly small group; mentally I am psyched that I have 6-8 new free hours each week while my children are in AWANA, gymnastics, Scouts, Sunday School and Movement & Motion with other leaders...I am not "needed" there and so I am having some nice "get ready" moments then; physically, I am going to take some of those new hours for massage, acupuncture & chiropractic care, as Stephen is riding low and pinching lots of parts of me. Sooooooo, I think the weeks ahead are looking up, and I think we're going to BE ready before he comes.

Or, at least, I'm HOPING so!!

No comments: