Thursday, June 07, 2007

Day FIVE--and now we are FOUR!

I can say with certainty that I have made a good decision. Letting go of my old, bad habits is working well for me so far & I am thoroughly delighted with my progress. Yes, it's only Day Five: think I'm getting a little ahead of myself? But it's all those little things logged yesterday that spell success. I didn't realize how ingrained my bad decisions were until I started to write down NOT making them! Here's the biggest reason to celebrate, though--because I can FEEL a difference!

I have never been one to compare my weight on a scale. I just know when I look & feel good, and when I don't. Look in the mirror--looking old & ashen? Time to make some changes! Can't zip up my favorite pants I could fit into last month? Evaluate recent diet. It never made sense to me to aim for a number--a certain weight or even dress size. So, I have no idea where my weight is right now, but I saw a photo of myself yesterday (taken by a friend) which scared me out of my pants! My tummy was sticking out like a pregnant woman--in fact, I didn't show that much in Teagan's 9th month, for crying out loud! It was mortifying.

So, yes, I have this extra "stuff" I really need to shed & some might call it weight. For me it's so much more than that: it's attitude & some sloppiness that has just crept its way into my routines to throw me so far off kilter that I don't recognize myself in pictures. There's another photo--Tom took it of me sitting by Logan on the couch--and I do not look like what I think of when I think of myself! It was shocking & I almost erased it immediately from the computer--but chose to keep it for motivation. Who is that woman? I undersatnd aging, but I do not understand how I have just let myself disappear.

So...all that to say...I feel GOOD about these choices I am making right now. Choosing NOT to buy chocolate in the checkout aisle; amazing how ofter I did that! Choosing NOT to sneak a bite of my daughter's homemade frozen custard--not even a lick! Good choices. Empowering!

Logan was quite a "pill" today--defiant at every turn, wiggly no matter our activity, bossy & selfish with his friends; whining, whining, whining!!!! He really tested my patience. Now, mothers of other 4-year-olds have recently commiserated with me in this--Four is a HARD year! My son is a Class-A know-it-all. Tonight he showed me a painful rash on his tushie, and I told him I needed to put some cream on it--he SCREAMED as if I was stabbing him with an ice pick--I swear! It was glass-shattering. Then he wanted to take a bubble bath, but I told him that bubble baths irritate a rash & that it was not a good idea. He argued with me that the bubble bath would not be irritating as if I know squat about life in general. So I rather abruptly snatched the bubble bath container off the shower wall and read to him (twice) the warning about bubble baths and skin irritation. Hey--you know what? It's amazing, but Adults can read, and they know a thing or two!!

Maybe this (my husband suggested) is his motivation for learning to read--to open up this world that he feels is being kept from him. I told him tonight that when he learns to read he will be able to see that I am not making up the skin irritation/bubble bath story--that it is actually written on the bottle!

Four! My girlfriend shared with me that she had gotten advice to just say, "Mm-hmm" whenever a 4-year-old insists she's been somewhere or done something that you know is impossible--like, say, fly to Bangladesh on the back of a winged terrapin. Just nod, lift your eyebrows and hum, "Mm-hmmmm" with interest. That's my son--so amazingly creative with his storytelling and overconfident in his own knowledge base--like a college freshman with one semester of Psychology 101 who is suddenly diagnosing all her co-eds! I suppose I should not say, anymore (with a wink of the eye), "Logan knows something about everything!" since he doesn't yet know anything about sarcasm!

Love that little man. Drives me bonkers some days but at least tonight, on Day Five of sugar-free, wheat-free, dairy-free living I can say I was able to lean down close, kiss him & whisper into his ear as he slept, "You are amazing, and smart and wonderful. I love you, Daddy loves you, Teagan loves you. You are blessed with so very many people who love you! You are going to be someone so important when you grow up--you are going to be a daddy, an can be an engineer, or an astronaut, a model-maker or a firefighter, Logan. You can do anything you put your heart and mind to, Love. Anything! Sleep tight, and let's have a better day tomorrow."


Ainsley said...

Hmmm... I thought 3 was supposed to be the know-it-all phase - what I have to look forward to!

Glad to hear it's going well with your new life choices!

Jen S. said...

I think the know it all phase starts at 3, but at 4 they seem able to argue longer and more adamantly!

It reminds me of a funny conversation I had with Luke yesterday. He's very much into jokes right now, but his sense of humor is that of a, well, a 4 year old. So we often debate about what is a joke and what isn't! After listening to his countless number of "jokes" that he came up with off the top of his head, ("Why did the hay jump over the fence? To eat more hay! Ha, get it, Mommy?"), I told him one I thought he'd enjoy. "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!" His response? "Mommy, that's not a joke." I passionately defended it, analyzing every part of it and explaining exactly why it was funny, but nope, he wouldn't cave. "Mommy, I'm telling you, it's not a joke! I really don't think it's a joke!" SIGH! Guess stand-up comedy is not in his future.

ModMomMuse said...

Agreed, Jen. It's the move from know-it-all to arguing about how much they know that makes it less than charming. When they're three it's like, "Wow! He's so smart!" When they are four it's more like, "Wow. He's a smart alec!"