Monday, July 02, 2007

Can Ya Hand It To Me...?

ONE MONTH!! This has been a good & practically-perfect month for my health & my goal of running a marathon in 2010. To start on my path to an improved constitution I finally went wheat/sugar/canola oil/dairy-free for...well almost 30 full days! BUT...I did fall off the wagon four times in just the past four days. The first time, on Day 27, was a sneaky indulgence; the second was experimentation, and the third & fourth (on the same day) were sheer apathy.

First? Oh, I hate to confess it--a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie!! Oh, Man!! When I was a little girl that was the special treat I got from Grampa...and two were left, hermetically sealed, at the Williamsburg house. Only the kids and I were at the house since Tom was in Florida on business. A lightening storm had taken down our electricity, so we were camping-out by candlelight in the family room. I thought an oatmeal cookie might be nice for the far-too-awake children, who were thrilled to hear startling thunder claps overhead as lightening exposed an otherwise darkened world out the window. The large raindrops looked like snow to my son--and can you blame me for breaking out a Little Debbie? (We couldn't pop any microwave popcorn, aferall). It was a beautiful moment--one no photograph could capture. One somehow fitting of a...sugar injection? Cannot imagine what it was but Nostalgia that caused me to down that sweet squishy circle in two honkin' bites, giving up on 27 staight days of Good Behavior. Mmmmm. That was GOOD! I mean Bad.

That was Thursday night.

Friday, since I'd already taken a first step down the Slippery Slope, it was just too easy to reach a spoon over into my children's milk shakes. We had just topped off a wonderful afternoon of exploring the Virginia Aquarium with friends, with lunch at The Purple Cow in Virginia Beach. Ice cream was melting & dripping all over Teagan's face, neck, arms & dress, so I had to rescue her by minimizing the cup by a spoonfull or two, didn't I? Afterall, I'd never actually tasted a purple vanilla milkshake before...and sticking my colorful tongue out at my son was hysterical. Um, yeah, that sounds like the excuse that it is. Did I mention the temperature was in the mid to high 90's?

Then there was today. Too many pieces of Teagan's toaster cake were leftover to throw away--how wasteful!

Once our three-hour drive brought us (& our hungy tummies) to Reston we dropped in to Obi Sushi for a quick bite. Truly, the sushi was enough...but I had a hankering, brought about by my recent tastes of...sin! Didya ever see "Interview With a Vampire?" Here are these vampires trying so desperately to not take the lives of human beings in order to they look for other sources of blood. Nice image, I know, but in the end they were fighting a battle they could never win...they are blood-sucking vampires, for crying out loud. How can you be a vampire without doing the very thing that defines "vampire?"

OK, what I mean is that my little tastes of sugar reawakened my addiction, so I went ahead and ordered Green Tea Ice Cream without blinking. And this time I didn't just have a bite of Teagan's or Logan's servings...noooooooo. No, I split the dish up into three equal parts and ate as if I was meant to--as if my very life depended on feeding the need! You see, DAIRY is not GOOD for me. It makes me sick. It turns my stomach. But, darn it if it isn't packaged in so many delicious & tempting presentations!!

The battle against my flesh is so complicated & difficult. Think I can blame all of these failures on my period!? It coincided, so I think I'll chalk it up this time to cyclical insanity. Hard to believe my easy excuses...nostalgia, necessity, nicety & finally, nevermind...(oh wait, I'm remembering additional "cheats" in just these last four days--it's like once I crossed over I just let it all go...cheese & apples at lunch today! And, yes, another HOT day's sneaky "rescue" lick of the kids' ice cream at The Outlets in Wmsbg...yikes!).

So, it may take 21 days to form a habit, but it only takes ONE SECOND to break it!

Good news is this: having been away from home for 23 days, I return to an empty fridge. So, I can intentionally shop for veggies & fruit tomorrow, collect menus for the week & compose another perfect week to mirror the 2nd through 8th days of June.

Tomorrow is the beginning of the next month of GOOD eating. NO DAIRY, Lisa. NO WHEAT! "I AM SUGAR FREE," I need to repeat over & over again. Restoration is mine tomorrow.

My hands are amazingly withstanding the abuse today. I had seen great improvement over the past four weeks, but today there is some acknowledgable dryness which is probably due to sugar/wheat/ isn't horrible, but will get worse if I continue on this course. NOPE! What is the prize worth to me?? Sacrifices are necessary.

Grace is so good. Amen?

Romans 7:14-25
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Galatians 5:16-18
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

(New International Version)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society


Jen S. said...

I know a guy who once ate an ENTIRE BOX of Oatmeal Creme Pies in one sitting. I'm shocked he lived to tell about it.

Despite your slips you're still doing much better than I would. If I tried to give up that much stuff at once I'd fail about 20 minutes into it. So don't beat yourself over it; just get back on the horse and start again. You're doing great!

ModMomMuse said...

Well, in my darkest hour (about ten years ago), I did eat six hot, fresh, sugar-glazed donuts in a row while driving to Bible Study, where I was supposed to be surprising the gals with a dozen donuts. Since there were ten of us in the group, my indulgence obviously cancelled out the sweet plan, even if I had a baker's dozen on hand. I just couldn't stop at three--such gluttony!

ModMomMuse said...

Oh! And, thanks for the encouragement!

Jen S. said...

Oh man, those are dangerous. You eat one and it just melts in your mouth, and it doesn't fill you up at all.
Ha..your story reminds me of my 12th grade Government teacher...she told us she was driving up to Richmond for some kind of conference and it was her job to bring along a tray of those little mini-eclairs. You guessed it, she ate the whole tray before she got there!!

MommySecrets said...

I can't believe you got an R rating for the word 'poop'!!!! What a funny world we live in!

Happy day to you,