Thursday, October 18, 2007

Chocoholic. No, really!

I refer, again, to the honorable Arnold Lobel, who artfully told a self-control tale in one of his "Frog & Toad" books, in which Frog & Toad are tempted to eat an entire box of homemade cookies. The two friends choose to lace up the box, but realize they'd just have to unlace it to get to the cookies. So, they position it high out of reach, thinking that might keep them from taking another bite. Unfortunately, cookies on a shelf are as close as the nearest chair to stand on. Finally, one of the chaps offers that the only way they can practice WILL POWER is to toss the cookies to the birds.

Seems drastic, doesn't it? I mean, is that really a practice of will-power, or is it more like giving up, and realizing that they have no will power? So, they find that it is actually better to remove the temptation from the picture, all together?

So it is with me. I bought all of the Halloween candy with coupons on the most-recently blogged extravagent shopping spree at Wegmans, opened all of the bags, put the candy in a large open bowl & tucked it up high in the kitchen, completely out of reach (& sight) without some height assistance.

I had will power on Saturday, because I have been very focused on staying free of my Toxic Foods (Kit Kats, for example, although among my all-time favorite chocolates, are, indeed, full of both dairy and wheat). I had will power on Sunday because it is, afterall, a Holy Day (can't say that has ever stopped me before...). I had self-control on Monday because I forgot about them, until that evening, when my children had a hankering for an after-dinner snack and I remembered that I could scale the counter (something I caution them never to do) and bring down manna from heaven! Please don't think me sacreligious! It just so happens that chocolate from above the cabinets is quite a heavenly concept to me, because, I confess, I am addicted!!

I allowed myself a Reese's cup. One. Really, I did only have one. But, you know Reese's cups? They have those toxic foods in there...and my hands were itching the next day. I, like any "-oholic," could not recall what had made me so sick. Shall we call it a chocolate black out?

Tuesday was fairly easy because I was focused on cleaning the house--you know, the floors, not above the cabinets.

Wednesday? Well, Tom was in town! And I dare not partake of The Forbidden in his presence, nor confess to having done so (Tom, are you reading this blog? Here's the real test!).

And here we are, Thursday night. It's been a long & unusual day--frustrating in the morning, tiring in the afternoon, a literal emergency in the early evening. Once I realized the house was quiet and I had it, finally, to myself, I thought..."Hmmmm. What would I like to do with this time? A glass of wine, maybe? Nah. The bottle in my fridge is one I do not delight in--too bitter, too sharp, too dry. OK, is there something on TV I want to watch? Oh, yeah, the antenna is broken, we only get five channels, anyway, and I'd have to mess with that for twenty minutes to even catch Oprah's nighttime rerun. OK, then, how about chocolate?"

So, I scaled the counter (did you know I used to enjoy rock climbing in my free time?), mastered the balancing act on descent (on, belay!), and sat on the couch wtih the whole honkin' lot sitting romantically close beside me. Reese's, Kit Kats, M&M's, M&M minis, and more!! All I care about is the chocolate, but knowing it is bad for little ole me, I went ahead and ate a Smarties package instead. It, of course, did not satisfy!

Four balled-up wrappers and a whole lot of guilt later, I am confessing to the general public.

Hi. My name is Lisa and I am a chocoholic.

At least my scatter-it-to-the-birds-day is just a few days away...well, forteen. Do you think I can make it to Halloween with this Devil Candy in my house??!?!?!

1 Corinthians 10:12-14
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Anybody want to celebrate Halloween early, at my place?


Jen said...

Um, maybe since you can't resist the temptation, you shouldn't have it in the house and give out pencils or stickers or something???

ModMomMuse said...

Precisely the point of the Frog & Toad example, right? Don't even keep it in the house! Well, I have learned my lesson! ;-C It is so difficult to avoid the Goods, but I will...I WILL it to be! That's WILL POWER it to be!! Tee hee. Working, daily, towards the goal of perfecting myself. HA HA HA!! OK, so I'll just press on to take hold of That which has taken hold of me! Thanks for posting. ;-D